If you have ever experienced that pit-in-the-stomach feeling before going to Confession, you are not alone. The Sacrament of Reconciliation is a beautiful gift from God, but it can be really nerve-wracking. I believe Confession is incredibly powerful (just ask the exorcists!) and that Jesus is present through the ministry of the priest. I almost always walk away feeling lighter, yet at the same time, my anxious tendency is to avoid whatever makes me uncomfortable, and Confession makes me super uncomfortable.
Ironically, Confession has also helped me understand that I am not some anonymous sinner in God’s eyes: I am his beloved child. Over time, I’ve learned that God wants to encourage me and console me. In this way, Confession has led to greater healing and freedom in my life. If you get nervous before going to Confession, I would like to share three practices that have helped me change my approach to this Sacrament:
1. Prepare for Confession as if it were your last Confession.
If we know we only have one shot at something important, we are going to prepare for it in a different way. When I turned 16 and took my driver’s test, I was keenly aware that if I failed, I would have to get a graduated driver’s license with further restrictions. This motivated me to get it right the first time. The Missionaries of Charity are known for having a sign in their sacristy that reminds the priest to celebrate every Mass as if it were his first Mass, his last Mass, his only Mass.
I once prepared for Confession as if it were my last. I waited in line, meditating on a passage from the Gospel of Matthew where God says, “Well done, my good and faithful servant, enter into the joy of the Lord.” (Matthew 25:23). I let those words soak in like the rain and found myself drenched with longing — longing for God to say those words to me. I thought to myself, if I were to die and appear before the judgment seat of Christ, I want to hear those words. When it was my turn for Confession, I proceeded as usual, recited my list of sins, and received absolution, but before I could hightail it out the door, the priest stopped me and said, “Well done, my good and faithful servant.”
I knew at that moment that God saw me, and he knew my heart’s longing. There was a density of God’s presence in that room. This was an extraordinary experience that helped strengthen my faith in the reality of what happens in Confession. God truly is waiting to forgive, console, and strengthen us.
2. Talk to Jesus, not just to the priest.
Confessing to a priest can be challenging. Priests are human, and their personalities and styles can influence how we experience Confession. I would much rather go to a priest who is calm and gentle than one who is rushed and irritable.
One day before Confession, I was reading a passage from St. Faustina’s “Diary of Divine Mercy” where Jesus reminds St. Faustina that, “just as you prepare in My presence, so also you make your confession before Me. The person of the priest is, for Me, only a screen.” (1725). When I went into the confessional, the priest greeted me by reminding me that he is only a screen and Jesus is the one who welcomes me. He quoted what I had just read! Now instead of the traditional, “bless me, Father, for I have sinned,” I make my confession as a prayer to Jesus, “Lord, I ask your forgiveness for… I pray that you would help me…” and my Act of Contrition is always the simple and approved prayer, “Lord Jesus Christ, son of the living God, have mercy on me, a sinner.”
3. Celebrate after.
Extraordinary forgiveness is something to celebrate. We find this joy in the Gospel of St. Luke when St. Matthew, also known as Levi, hosts a dinner party after his encounter with Jesus (Luke 5:27-32). This scene is particularly striking because Matthew hosts a great banquet and not only invites his fellow tax collectors, but also the Pharisees and scribes! He wants everyone to encounter Jesus in the way he has. One of the best ways to celebrate forgiveness is to share that experience with others. When we share our stories of encountering God, our faith grows, and we bless others with hope.
Just like in Luke’s Gospel, we might think about getting a group of friends together to go to Confession and then share a meal after. My husband and I love getting Mexican food. A great date night could be going to Confession together and then enjoying dinner out. I know of some families that celebrate their child’s First Reconciliation with an outing to get ice cream. Whatever you decide to do, please do something to celebrate the freedom that comes from the Sacrament of Reconciliation. Perhaps taking the time to celebrate will actually deepen your awareness of God’s love and mercy.
